they traipsed the beaches 
in search of a somewhat elusive bird 
that hid in the hottest parts of the sand
nested and left no trace
not even feather-beak residue 

what they did know:
the birds had been present
the sand was hottest by the estuary 
they could not stand there for more than 
“fifteen seconds!” 
lucy yelped 
it was half past noon 

what they did not know:
the birds had just left
the birds were meticulous tidiers 
ppl lived in the estuary 
“the way back to the car” lucy sighed 

camping on the beach was 
a necessary discomfort 
no tent 
but as has been illustrated 
the sand was hot
and strangely remained that way 
after dark 

like there were still-hot coals submerged 
under loam 
but no 
not even seafaom could still
heated swill
hot bile that thicket-dwellers 
                      forced to eat
                      pork remnants and capri-sun

“living in the rough” was illegal by then
“showing outward affection” was too
as were many other precious things 
such as “venturing alone”
but lucy didn’t care
that’s what they liked abt thicket-dwellers
they didn’t care
on second thought 
least they cared enough
to share bug spray and apple juice

i was very young when I met lucy and I did not know, at the time, what a risk she was taking in taking me in
i did not know that she was 
taking me in I thought I was hers

i was hers
after all 
but that’s not the way ppl saw it
adoption was illegal at that point 
and punishment severe for disobeying 
so when they were in “polite company” 
i.e. police company, narcs, informants, etc
lucy would call me her intern 
which they loved

i live near the western gate
western gate western gate
i live near the western gate 
where souls depart this earth

‪bad habits:‬
‪i write ‬
‪my poems ‬
‪in 4/4 time‬

musicians and their teachers: 
musicians, and their teachers,
musicians 
and their teachers! musicians 

and their teachers
the mamas & the papas
who feed and love the musicians 
and their teachers
the miracles 
that make musicians  
and their teachers say
aren’t you glad u learnt yr scales
yr rounds & bach chorales 
long tones 
listen to their sounds closely 

but the musicians and their teachers
the temptations 
of sweet sorrow in each breath 
of sarah vaughn howling out
mean to me
musicians and their teachers 

ntozake and jessica holding hands
draping their lovers
each other in satin
don’t need it to be true to be real 
don’t need it to be wrong either
just need it 

exchange
the cat was cop-watching 
and the cop was cat-watching
Black cat fast cat bad kitty
prettyprettyprettypretty 

it’s 20 years past the millennium 
the pope can still give 
a kick like an old spaniard 
ship dope across the atlantic 

and there’s water on the moon!
and we own it 
and we drink it
and bottle it out of atlanta

y y y 
must i only be concerned for those 
in my country, we do things differently 
in my four corners
my border?
y y y 
my block my home 
my body my bone 
y y y

There are a billion women inside my body and all of them look like me. There are a billion women waiting to meet me. You look at me like you can see right through me. A billion women / invisible / but there. 

how alike we are
but could not prove it to you

because even if we met  
it would not be enuf
only time fuses us

never got that time 
and so resigned to it (now)
I once believed in fate, but (now)
I believe in it more. Contingency. 

Fact is, you’re not in control 
what fate really is
Out of Control

My professor vibed me out
While I was trying to avoid the truth
Of the matter of the mass 
Of smoking grass on Sunday afternoon

For Pedro 
drunken poet of my dreams
Who wrapped his words in wisdom
painful alcoholism 

The drunkard’s final words were:
Go get me some wine while yr at it
Decanted recanted enchanted 
Proof of a man gone too soon 

i feel safer on a clean bus
feel cleaner on a safe bus

feel darker on a bad day
feel badder on a dark day

bad bad girl
can’t stay awake no more
she sleeps 
on the ground / park
yr ass! park yr ass 
on the grass for today 
can’t stay awake 

randomsoliloquie
dancing with nikki 
she tells 
she tells me 
she tells me things 
that i would like to know
how she knows me 
and loves me

babybabybaby 
buh buh love bug
give me a sigh / love shrug 

are you 
in my dreams tonight?
i’m willing to bet 
are you in my 
happy place? 
no lemme guess 
at the gym?!

i picture you in every place 
every city of the world